4/11/2023 0 Comments Splitting a river bibleOr, watch this video to find out The REAL Reason Guns are Dangerous. If you want to find out about some less awesome super powers made up by people other than God, check out 9 Superpowers That Would be More Trouble Than They're Worth or Gladstone's countdown of a clip in which Fox News Conjures a News Story. We wonder if that might not be why it was his last recorded act. The Bible doesn't describe exactly how Elisha died, only that his last recorded act was telling the king that he was a moron. Well, for Elijah, the answer is quite obviously "none," considering that if he hadn't gotten a flaming ride up to heaven, he'd presumably still be alive today. You want to rob a bank? Well you'd better have a suit that's fireproof, waterproof and freaking bear proof. Rivers in China, Russia, Lebanon, and the Netherlands, as well as bodies of water in the United States, Australia and Sri Lanka, have. Continue Reading Belowīut throw it all in, including calling down fire from the sky and controlling water? We wouldn't just be stopping criminals, we'd be stopping crime. Reports of rivers, rain and bodies of water turning red all over the world have shocked Biblical scholars who warn the phenomenon is a sign we have reached the end times as prophesied in the Book of Revelations. This special ability seems to require having a lot of exposed skeletons laying around, a resource we probably won't find while fighting crime with Spider-Man in New York (unless there are some neighborhoods that are way worse than we initially thought). But crime fighting is just the beginning, we're thinking there's really an incredible number of uses for your legions of undead henchman.Īlso, it's not too far-fetched to assume that this would work on animals as well, so zombie horsemen could give us some serious mobility. That's Ezekiel 37: 1-14, and that's him raising a freaking army of the undead.Īn army of the undead, right at our fingertips? Imagine the bank-robbers running when suddenly rotting arms reach up from the ground, grab that sack of cash, steal his car and beat him with his own intestines. This was a challenge that could have erupted into big time inner-tribal warfare within the tribe of Manasseh unless an understanding was reached. About 50 of the Manasseh clans wanted to plant roots in the Transjordan area and the other 50 wanted to move on into the Promised Land. But it was all worth it, when things like this happened: Opinions were literally split about half-half. For most Biblical prophets, this meant having freaky visions, telling them to people, being mocked and most likely being executed for heresy.
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